Ordinary Pastor's Wife: O Martha? Martha? Where art thou Martha?

**Also posted on richardambercrowson.blogspot.com

"As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:38-42

If you ask Richard to describe me in a few words “A Do-er” will make it to the top of the list. I am much more comfortable serving than learning. I relate to Martha so well. I understand why she gets mad at Mary. While she is in the kitchen preparing everything, Mary is sitting on her butt just staring at a man. There would have been pots banging loudly. There possibly would have been throwing of an apron and spatula at her head to make her get the hint. I believe that once I had the table set, there would not have been a place set for Mary. She would have had to go make her own meal and eat it by herself. She most definitely would have done the dishes all by herself. Nothing sets my temper off more than a person who has been assigned a task/job and they don’t do it. Especially if I am the one who assigned the task and especially if that assigned person is family. I know the point of the story but I can’t help but feel that Martha was justified in her feelings. However wrong they were. If the man had not been Jesus then Martha would have been in the right. Martha! I get you girl! We would have kicked it in the kitchen until the cows come home!

I always feel like I should be doing something at all times and it drives Richard B-a-n-a-n-a-s. I never understood why it makes Richard so mad when I get up during a movie and start cleaning. He mentions something and I jump up to go grab it, fix it, or accomplish it. Doesn’t he want me to take care of things? At some point in every day Richard will lovingly grab my arms, cups my face with his hands so I will look at him, and tell me to go sit down and not to move again.

Every week we visit with my mother and grandmother. We sit for hours in her living room and just talk. It’s a wonderful time. Yesterday while we were visiting, I noticed something I had never noticed before. Throughout the entire visit my mother never sat down. She was constantly on the go. Richard mentioned that he enjoys “The Twilight Zone” Mom quickly jumped up and went and got the movie. I mentioned that “Gone Girl” will be showing in theatres soon. She quickly went to her room and brought me the book so I could read it. She was constantly refilling our cups, picking up our plates, getting out cookies, or taking out the trash. She never stopped throughout the entire visit. I found myself repeating the same things over and over because she didn’t hear them the first time. It was exhausting and irritating. She couldn’t stop serving us for five minutes and enjoy our company. We didn’t come there to be served. We came to visit.

The drive home was filled with us discussing Mom’s behavior. This is Richard’s area of expertise. I have long ago stop trying to understand why people act the way they do. Mom serves because she loves us. We were in her home and she was expressing her love to us. She missed out on spending quality time with us because she was too busy trying to please us with her actions. Quality time that is fleeting and she can never have back. Mom gives us her possessions because she is trying to show us how important we are to her. She would give up her time and possessions in order to serve us. Those are really the only two things she has. Time and Possessions. What she didn’t realize was we didn’t need her possessions or her sacrificed time. We needed fellowship with her.

Cleaning up after dinner that night I was reflecting on the visit. Why couldn’t mom see it? How would I even approach the subject with her? Another thought kept popping into my head. Richard tells me all the time how much my mother and I are alike. Not just in looks. We do have the same face but our spirits are just alike as well. The same things I struggle with my mother struggles with. I am my mother’s daughter through and through. No matter how much I want to deny it. I am a stubborn, hard-headed, strong willed, animal loving, people loving, and a people serving machine. As I type this my cat is curled up in my lap. How many letters has Mom written to me with a pet in her lap. GAH! I might as well be her clone.

One thing is certain. We are two Marthas that desperately need to become more like Mary. How much quality time have I missed out on because I was too busy serving? How many times have I only half listened to Richard because I was thinking about a hundred other things that needed to get done. Were they important? Some of them were very important but not more important that giving my husband my undivided attention. The time we have together is fleeting and I have been wasting it running around trying to serve him. What he wants is fellowship. Oh how God opens our eyes. Nothing seems to speak louder to me than when I run into a person who is a reflection of myself. How much time have I wasted only half reading my bible because breakfast needed to be prepared? How many times has distractions overshadowed quality time with the LORD in my life? If distractions are overshadowing my husband then they are definitely overshadowing the LORD.

Jesus said: “Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken from her” Mary chose time with the Savior.

This Martha is choosing time and it will not be taken from me either.

Thank you Lord for opening my eyes.